Winding Down

And the list is dwindling down. I love it.

Blogging: Edit paper. Write reflection letter. Due Friday

Gender: Quiz Thurs - finish readings and study

Editing: Print Evals of groups' magazines

524: PRACTICE for presentation THURSDAY @ 2:30 pm!!!!!


Next week I start my internship. Very excited about this, also kinda nervous, of course. I hope the gas card they said they'd give me has a lot of money on it. with gas $4.00/gallon I'll need it.

Lists

So, I've just finished making my FINAL "To Do" list for the end of the semester. Making lists, as weird as this sounds, makes me really excited. I like getting organized, knowing what I have to do so it's all laid out there in front of me, and the (the best part!) crossing things off the list and seeing what I've accomplished. I think I get a natural high from it.

To bore you with my life for the next week, here is what I have to do:

Blogging: keep blogging, edit research paper (due next Friday) (and yes, I said edit. I finished my first draft a couple days ago so now I have some time to edit it to make it better. holla!!!)

Gender and the Media: Quiz Thursday- finish/start readings

Editing and Publishing: Bring in 1st draft and the rewrite of Book Proposal
Bring in course eval and class evals

524: Presentation Thursday- practice and make notecards


FINISHED!!!!!!! no more school!!!! till summer school.....


Gotta love the lists.

The Wackos in Milwaukee...I tell ya....

Throughout the past few days I have encountered a few very strange, weird, bizzare, incredibly wacko people in Milwaukee.

The one fresh in my mind happened only an hour or so ago. I was on my way to class, minding my own business when I saw a box walking towards me on the street.

no joke. a box.

A person had themselves decked out in cardboard boxes. some for his arms, legs, feet, body, and head. of course he had 2 holes for his eyes....but there he was. I wasn't too uncomfortable with it...that is, until I had to stand next to him while we waited for the light to change.

Not quite sure why he was dressed like that, kinda weird.






The second weird thing that happened was a bit more interesting, not to say that box man wasn't interesting.

Friday night I went out, painted the town red so-to-speak, in Milwaukee. By the end of the night we ended up at Axel's. Everything was going fine, we were just sitting around, I was standing against the wall.

Then, a guy comes walking up to me with his hand out for me to shake and he was staring at me really weird. I was hesitant to shake his hand, and was trying to aviod it at all costs. Then my boyfriend and his roommate stepped in front of me and told the guy to get the heck out of there, I didn't want to talk to him.

I thought they were being a little overprotective, until I looked down on the floor to see this weird guy's pants around his ankles. Boxers still on but....no pants.

but this guy would not leave me alone. Finally after a few minutes he walked away.
....until he came back a minute later wanting to shake me hand again. he also was touching Travis' butt saying 'you have a really nice ass, nice ass, i wanna touch your ass'....and thats when shit started to hit the fan.
chris and travis warned him multiple times to leave, but he wouldn't. thats when chris gave him a shove. and there was pushing and shoving for a little bit. Chris was ready to crush him, but we left. and the guy followed us out the bar and was following us...all the while staring at me really weird, his eyes fixed on me.


Weird! and Creepy.




Some people, I tell ya.

Update

So, since my last post I've been frantically looking at ways to try to graduate still after my Fall semester, writing out classes and schedules and basically getting very stressed out and frustrated.

The same day I found out my bad news I started to get a bad sore throat, which has now turned into a bad cold.

Coincidence? I think not....

More like stressed to the max = you get sick.

So I went to my advisor today to try to straighten things out. ...Good news!
I have Many Many Many options.

In summary, I can either graduate in Fall, Winterum, or Spring--depending on how I go about doing things. AND, I can also come out of it with an English minor as well...depeinding on how I go about doing things.

To graduate in Fall I will need:
To take my summer internship for 4 credits (260 hrs in 12 weeks)
Take a 3 credit online course
And 15 credits in Fall

to graduate in Winterum I will need:
Summer internship for 4 credits
18 credits left...so 15 in fall, 3 in winterum

and I just need 2 classes left for an english minor, so instead of taking the bullshit classes, I would take "real" ones for the minor.

So now I just need to make a decision.

Screwed over

I am extremely extremely pissed off right now. Excuse me if I go off on a swearing rampage in the middle of this.

So, I go to my Journalism advisor today to double check that I can still graduate next December, a semester early. She looks at my stuff....yep, I'm good to go after 2 more JMC classes and a natural science from the L&S department.

THEN, I told her how my friend is in the same situation as me, 15 credits left, one graduating in December, and gets to register today when I register on May 2nd. We go to the front office to see why this is. As we get my answer (because I have junior academic status, so juniors go last. such bullshit)

THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she says, " I don't see how you can graduate in December, you only have 99 credits and you need 120 to graduate.

So Apparentely, my fucking L&S advisor forgot to mention to me the "graduation requirements." he just told me "you need one more natural science and you'll be done here." So, instead of taking 3 classes next fall, I need to drag it out over the course of 2 fucking semesters. and what do I have to put inbetween those classes you ask?

oh, nothing much, just some bullshit ballroom dancing, pottery making, floral arrangement, fucking body sense classes. bullshit fillers that will satisfy uwm's "graduation requirments."

you know, this would have been nice to know about a LONG fucking time ago. My "advisor" did a very poor job in advising me. I would have taken an extra class this semester, one last winterum....in order to graduate in fall.

and since a JMC class is only open to graduating seniors, I have to wait until spring to take it now, along with some fucking yoga, pilates, or some other shit like that.

what a fucking waste of time and money.

pissed off.


so pissed.

Counting down the days

3 more weeks of school. Things are winding down for sure, but I've still got to set my nose to the grindstone and finish strong. I'm offically done May 10th. Even before exams start. Which is sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

But I've got papers and presentations to keep me busy till then. I will be smiling all day on May 10th after 2:45 pm.

VA Tech

What a horrible thing to happen.
There have been so many undated reports since Monday. It seems as though every time I log on to yahoo.com there's more and more information being revealed. Although it is entirely possible and probable that there have been more school shootings since Columbine and the copycats after that, things have been pretty quiet regarding that matter.
But now its started up againg. After Cho Seung-Hui went on his rampage Monday, I believe the copycats will come out. there have already been cases. my boss was just telling me about a schoo in MN where a student was arrested after finding that a note he wrote saying (summarized) "First VA Tech, now (school's name)." and how he wanted to beat the "record" and kill 100.
How sickening. That just pisses me off. People are unhappy with their own lives so they take it out on innocent bystandards.
I understand that he was made fun of, a shy guy, and pushed around a lot....but punch a pillow, go to counseling...don't go crazy and kill innocent people.
The pictures he sent the news station are just plain creepy. Him holding a gun to his head. Pointing the gun. and then there was one of a coffee cup next to a memorial with writing on it. it said that because of the coffee, the person was late to class where most of the shooting took place and it saved the persons life. wow. thats weird.

Hurray!

Hurray! I got an internship!

As of May 14th, I will be working at Milwaukee's Lifestyle Magazine as their intern. The perks you ask? No pay (of course...), but...free gas card! (probably because I'll be driving all around and running errands....but hey, I'll take it rather than spend $3.00/ gallon.

What's cool is that I'll be working in a lot of departments. Writing, editing, going on photoshoots(i'm excited about this one), promotings, and marketing departments. I'll be exposed to everything so I can narrow down what I want to do.

Very Exciting.

And I get my own office cubical. (movin on up, to the east side, to a deeelux apartment in the skkkkkyyy!)

And I can hopefully can stay through till next fall..then I graduate...then...job? Maybe a job w/ them if I like it and all goes well....we'll see!

Hurray!!!! Good news

After watching one of my favorite shows, "Little People Big World" on TLC, I really have the urge to travel. In their most recent episode, the Roloff Family goes on a family trip to Hawaii. The sunset, bright colors, sandy beaches, and fun things like zip lining in the forest, scuba diving and tasty looking dinners.
It really made me want to jump on a plane right now and be somewhere other than here.
Maybe when I graduate in December I'll just travel around Europe for awhile. Go to Italy, Greece, Spain, maybe some Africa action.
My friend, Mary has been ALL over the world. For a couple summers in high school she went to South America to Brazil and Argentina for a church thing...and last semester she was in Spain and went Everywhere..the pictures were amazing. Now shes on a semester at sea. She's starting from the Puerto Rico and is ending in China. How cool is that? Here's a list of places she has been JUST this year:
- Spain
- Morocco
- Italy
- Great Britian
- Czech Repbulic
- Switerland
- France
- Bahamas
- Puerto Rico
- Brazil
- South Africa
- Maritius
- India
- Malaysia
- Vietnam
- Hong Kong
- China
- Japan

wow. I'm so jealous. She's gonna be so exposed to so many different cultures. I hope I get to go somewhere exciting soon, otherwise I'll go crazy.

Family Guy

I'd like to take a moment to talk about Family Guy.

I've come to really almost religously watch Family Guy at night, 10 pm. I must admit, I was skeptical about it at first, I thought it was something like King of the Hill or some lame show like that, but after watching many episodes, all thanks to Chris for getting me hooked, I love it. It's like the simpsons but 10 times better and more funny.

I got Chris a Family guy desk calendar for xmas that he's brought to work with him. They have questions and answers about episodes or characters and funny little saying from characters on each day that are absolutely hilarious. I've begun collecting the really good ones that Chris bring home with him and showcasing them on my walls.

All the characters are so great. I think I would say Stewie is my favorite. He's so evil and says the funniest things. Whoever does the writing for the show are geniouses. I wish i would have known about how good it was before. I'm going to buy seasons for sure, Chris and I have already gone through a whole season, so I need to buy the next one.

Internship Hunting

So, the internship hunt continues. I've come to realize that through my project for my advertising 524 class I am interested in event planning. My sub major is Advertising and Public Relations. I never thought that I would go into public relations. I didn'think I was that kind of person, but since planning my client's 25th anniversary event, I really like it.

So instead of trying to find a magazine internship, I'm going to go for a special events one instead. I googled some stuff and a site took me to a WisconsinJobs site. I searched for internships and found lots of special events for the summer. I'm going to be calling in a few minutes to see if they still need people, then hopefully send my resume, get an interview, get offered the internship...and then everything will be awesome!

Internship Hunting

So, the internship hunt continues. I've come to realize that through my project for my advertising 524 class I am interested in event planning. My sub major is Advertising and Public Relations. I never thought that I would go into public relations. I didn'think I was that kind of person, but since planning my client's 25th anniversary event, I really like it.

So instead of trying to find a magazine internship, I'm going to go for a special events one instead. I googled some stuff and a site took me to a WisconsinJobs site. I searched for internships and found lots of special events for the summer. I'm going to be calling in a few minutes to see if they still need people, then hopefully send my resume, get an interview, get offered the internship...and then everything will be awesome!

Perfect Day

Saturday. What a perfect day for a Brewer game. I had never tailgated before, so I was excited at the idea. Some beer, some brats, some friends, some ball...sounds nice, right?

Well picture standing out in the 20 degree weather, snowing, too cold to even get a buzz! Instead of hanging out in the parking lot, we were huddled together by the grill trying to keep warm. My toes and fingers were so numb and my lips started to turn blue. It was a complete miserable day.

So, I went took a nap in my nice warm bed as soon as I got home. I've never been more happy to be in my bed. Ever!!!

what to do, what to do

Well, since I haven't talked about my situation with my roommate lately, let me fill you in:

Yep, still not talking really. Do you call it talking if we say "hi" or "hey" and then "bye." I'm always in my room typing and editing and she's either at class or work or across the hall. Then i just go to bed, and its the same thing every day. Over and over. I think things might be better when we're not living together and roommates. At least I hope so.

Cause this is what I'm thinking. I'm going to have to learn to be with her on occasions, I'm dating her brother and I dont see us not seeing each other for awhile, maybe ever even. So I need to be able to be with her sometimes. Just right now its awkward as hell.

Chris invited me to go to Madison with his family next weekened for a whole weekend, his cousin just had a baby and they're going to check little Jack out and go out to the bars and whatnot. I would consider going, only erika will be there. and a whole weekend with her idk if i can handle. it's horrible and i hate it. and I'll have tons of work to do as well..so we'll see, idk.

ahhh,crap.

Takin Care of Business

Ah, yes!

Today my group and I met with our client and proposed a lot of things. Recap: We're planning a Donor Recognition event for Adoption Resources of Wisconsin's (non-profit) 25th anniversary.

So what did we get approved?
- the venue
- the entertainment
- the memento
- the save-the-date cards, agenda, invitations, and RSVP cards

YAY!!! I'm so excited because I can taste the end of this project...and now I'm actually starting to enjoy it and I can't wait for the end product when we're finished with everything and we present it to the class. Because I'm proud of our work and I want to show it off!!

I can't believe tommorow is Thursday. This week flew by.

Time for some MUCH needed relaxation. :)

heroic dog

this is a crazy story.

A dog saves its owners life when they were choking on an apple. the dog pushed the woman on the floor and jumped up and down on her to dislodge the apple.

wow.

Just another gloomy Friday

Where'd all the warm weather go that was teasing us so much last week? I miss it.

Today I had an interview at Reiman Publications, which publishes Reminisce magazine, Taste of Home magazine, and others. It was for an 8 page paper for my editing and publishing class. My professor said the interview had to be between 30-45 minutes and I was like ..."um, more like 15 minutes at most." I didn't know what to talk about.

But the guy I interviewed was a talker and I ended up asking a lot more questions throughout the interview. It was and hour and 15 minutes! I was surprised. Now I have more than enough information for my paper, it's hard to put all of it together into one piece of information that flows well.

I have so much writing and editing to do that....I might just die of a million paper cuts or something, idk. I'm so sick of writing and editing and printing.

Summer Internship

So this morning I had that internship at Milwaukee's Lifestyle Magazine. I was so afraid I wouldn't be there on time I left an hour early, mapquest said it would take 28 minutes to get there--I didn't trust it. I left myself more time.

Well, mapquest was right. About 28 minutes later and a half hour early, there I was. Sitting in front of the building.

So I occupied myself by reviewing the questions I'd been rehearsing in my head, looking through their magazine....after about 15 minutes I got bored and decided to go inside.

I was taken right away and sat in a room with a 3 people. It was a bit intimidating at first, but I was surprisingly calm for it being my first "real" interview.

They did a lot of talking, and most of the questions I had been rehearsing were not even asked. A lot of the questions I had been planning on talking about when they said "any questions for us?" were already answered in the interview.

I think I did really well. They were impressed by my graduating a semester early, seemed to like my work I showed them, and asked questions like "when are you available to start" and "do you live near here?"

1-2 weeks I'll find out.

It's quite a load off my back, but it'll be even more of a load off if I actually get it. I'm kind of confident. I think I might (knock on wood).

My not so interesting spring break...thus far

I'm really pissed that my apartment's "dryer" takes 2-3 times to dry my clothes every single time even if it's a small load.
And it's $1 per "dry." Such bullshit. I end up spending like $6 on washing clothes. Right now I am looking at my laundry hanging and sprawled out all around my table by the windows in hopes that they will dry quickly. I was too cheap to put in another $1 to dry it AGAIN! It makes me so pissed.

I did a little spring cleaning today. I took everything out of my room and swept up the zillions of buckets of dust collected under my bed and desk...wow, was I disgusted. I rearranged by room too..I need a bit of a change to keep myself sane.

Oh, and I have an internship interview w/ M Magazine on Tuesday. I'm excited. Maybe something good will actually happen to me.

Crazy info....
So all last week Chris was dealing with a rash all over his legs. He didn't know where it came from. He went to the doctor on monday but all she said was he has sensitive skin and it wasn't really a rash, it would clear up on its own.

But today, he was putting 2 and 2 together when he was eating his lunch, which included an apple. He rubbed his eye and immediately it got red and itchy. Then he remembered that he started eating apples for the first time in a long time last week. (because before when he'd eat them, he'd get itchy...but never any rashes) then he stopped on the weekend and the rash was getting better. But then when he ate one today at lunch and got itchy again he solved the mystery.

He's allergic to apples. How crazy! and weird. I guess lots of people are allergic to fruits and vegetables. Who would'a thunk it?

My spring break plans

SPRING BREAK!!!!

Although I'm not feeling like it is right now. Instead, on my first night of "freedom" I've been writing letters (ahem....thanks dr sands.... :) ) and getting headaches over production process elements for another class.

But I did something other than homework tonight. Me, Erika, Jen, Rebecca, and Gus (the Mexican friend) went out for Gus' farewell dinner. He leaves on Saturday. We went to the Water Street Brewery. Decent food. It was nice to get out and actually do something different. I bursted out of the bubble I've been stuck in lately. But still, it was a bit awkard. I was just kinf of in the background while the rest of the girls talked and chatted and gossiped...I just didn't feel like a part of them. Disconnected for sure.

They all leave for their hot spot vacations tomorrow. I'm so jealous. If only I could be under a palm tree on the beach. How ideal.

I think the only exciting thing I'm doing is going to Sheboygan on saturday with Chris and our friends for "ice bowling." It is just that. bowling on ice. idk, i've never done it before. seems like it could be fun. I think i'll need a few to a lot of drinks tho.

I'm going shopping in Chicago with my mom. Spending the money that I don't have. Cha Ching!

Oh, and I think I'll be hitting up Discovery World. I was there last weekend in the lobby during my run and I want to go.

so....that's my spring break. besides having a client meeting for my internship class and working and editing and writing and writing and writing and writing papers that are due at the end of spring break.

That and throw in a few days of work here and there.

Kinda not so exciting as this time last year when I was packing for Mexico.

But I'll take the extra sleep any day.

Oh the Frustration

So lately I've been thinking about where I'm going to live next year. Erika will be in Spain (haleluiah) and believe it or not all the other girls are moving back home and commuting or going to school there. (I should have made more friends I think). So here I am. Looking for a 1 bedroom or studio. Although I dont want a studio, I hear it's so lonely there.

I've been looking on Craig's List, which is a great site that updates rentals daily. I check it every day and bookmark prospects.

I've also been looking at Eastmore Managment properties. These, depending..are a little more expensive. But my sister just moved into an Eastmore and it's a very nice apartment. But she has the money to pay $700/month because she's a nurse that works nights and weekends....but there are some cheaper ones.

I will definately be paying more money either way/ any way I go.

I love these stupid facts

so i'm at work (working very hard, i might add) and i came across these facts. because im so bored and want to go run into oncoming cars right now. i hate work.
Facts to amuse your friends with. click here

*A rat can last longer without water than a camel.

*A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2" by 3-1/2". ] (this i found out a couple months ago and so my friends and I were out at a bar asking older men if they knew the measurements for a 2 X 4 [one man worked in construction] and no one knew)

*On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily! (maybe that was what happened to my sister....)

*The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

*If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it willinstantly go mad and sting itself to death.

*There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange,purple and silver.

*By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannotsink into quicksand.

*An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a womanto take more than three steps backwards while dancing!

*Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!

*Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King DavidHearts - CharlemagneClubs -Alexander, the GreatDiamonds - Julius Caesar

gotta love these usefess facts.

I see light!

Wisconsin is so crazy. Snow one day and then 50 degree weather the next. I have to say that I'm loving this weather currently though. I'd take this over snow any day. I wasn't too pleased about the daylight savings time, losing an hour and all, but seeing as how I went to bed at 9 last night and got up at like 11 am today I got my rest.
Yeserday I used the nice weather to my advantage and went for a run down by the lakefront and to the art museum with Chris. We were out the whole afternoon, walking through what we could in the art museum lobby and the discovery world lobby, swinging on some swings, and just enjoying the awesome weather.
Today we went by the Business school and played some hoops. a little HORSE action, some 21 . It was a good time.
The nice weather puts me in such a better mood. And I love that its 6:30 right now and still light outside!
I can't wait for more nice weather. I hope it stays like this.

I've seen better days

So last night was a night I was kinda dreading for a few days. Gus, our friend from Mexico is leaving next week to go back home (to Mexico). Erika, Jen and Rebecca decided to make a scrapbook for him of his time here, and asked (Rebecca did, of course not Erika) if I wanted to help. I said sure, knowing full well that it would be an uncomfortable night, seeing as how I haven't been around any of them for awhile.
It actually went better than I thought. I had a bit of fun making it. Erika and I didn't miraculasly become closer or anything, but...whatever.

I found out from Chris that Erika might be moving back home this summer. I feel bad saying this, but I'd be glad. I was looking to find an apartment for a June lease even though our lease is up in August just so I could get out of there. The reason being 1) well duh, erika and and dont get along and 2) EVERYBODY else is moving home so it would just be me and her. together. me + her + alone = awkard and NO GOOD. So lets cross our fingers that her factory job takes her back.

I was kinda ticked last night too when Rebecca (whos going to FL w/ her boyfriend, Jimmy) and Jen (whos going to CA) and Erika (whos going to key west) all went shopping and were 'so excited to try on their cute new clothes!!!!! " meanwhile im sitting here like, "umm..yeah, go and try those on while I put on my bundles of sweaters Ill be wearing over break. bitches."

I think I'm just in a permanent bad mood now. Just the situation plus all the school stress isn't making me very happy right now.

I'd be happy tho if the magazine internship I applied for today called me back for an interview for a summer internship. That'd be stress off my shoulders. Or maybe more, who knows!!!

My next post I'll have some links to other interesting blogs I've been surfing through. Meanwhile, I've got some work to do.

Till next time!

harry potter predictions

Okay. I'm asking a favor of all those Harry Potter fans out there.

For another class I'm compiling a list of predictions I think will happen in the final book coming out this July. I'm answering questions such as:

* Will Harry die?

* Is Snape good or bad?

* Will Harry go back to Hogwarts to become an auror or will he go and destroy the horcruxs'( or both..??)

* it's said that 2 will die...who?

*its said that aunt petunia will have an important role in the final book...what is it?

*it's said that dumbledore will come back and have a role...what?

.......Things like that.

So, if any of you have any input on Harry Potter, please feel free to leave some comments. I will take them into consideration. I dont remember all the facts in the book, so the more comments the better. Maybe I think differently on your comment, but I might use that as an example of another side to use.

Thanks!!!

My bitching for the day

I have some things to bitch about that I need to get out. Please excuse my negative attitude. I promise, I'll feel better afterwards.

NUMBER 1: I have had a major headache all day. No pills are helping. I just want to lay my head on my pillow and take a nap/go to bed, but I have work to do. damnit.

NUMBER 2: Adding to my pain in my head, I think I strained something in the bottom of my foot. It's been hurting for 4 days day. and the balls of both my feet. I think my feet just need to not touch the ground and only lay in my bed for a week.

NUMBER 3: I clean the whole frickin apartment and I turn around and it's a pig sty. Whos junk is it? umm...none other than Erika's. I seriously have nothing laying out anywhere but my room (which is relatively organized and clean). All her shit is laying around. Dishes from a week ago that im not touching. Rags are smelling up the kitchen. All her frickin garbage and stupid snot rags everywhere. i just want to shove everything into her room. i want to come back to a clean apartment. I can't be here when its like this. it disgusts me.

NUMBer 4: I have too much shit to do. I signed up to be the copywriter for my other class internship...but now I'm totally regreting it. I have EVERYTHING to do while the art director and account executive have to do squat. And if i have to print out this Client Backgrounder one more time I will just rip it to shreds.

NUMBER 5: I'm burned out. I need sleep and have nothing on my mind for a week. Too bad spring break won't be like that since I've got client meetings and work to do on the internship since "none of us are going away! we can get ahead of the game!" yay.....not.

NUMBER 6: I HATE THE SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im living in hell

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I thought last Friday would bring on drama and tears. And of course I was right.

Friday I went out to an Admirals game with Chris and his parents and their friends and Erika(my roomate) and a few other friends of ours. We went out to dinner before the game and something unbelievable happened that I just wanted to slap erika across the face.....

here it is.

somehow, idk how it came up, but the subject of lasagna that chris' mom gave to him in NOVEMBER to share w/erika sometime came up. Chris waited a couple months, let it stay in the freezer, then him and his roommate decided to eat it. he didn't call erika.

now, if that happened with me and my sister, I'd be like, "amy, you're a bitch, i wanted some." but then move on. not a big deal.

but it was for erika. she was saying "you would be so upset too if i didn't call you and invite you over. i have nothing to eat. i really dont like you right now at all." etc......making a huge scene in front of everybody at the 18 pple table. she actually had tears in her eyes, okay. thats how upset she was over fucking lasagna.

so chris is like, 'ok sorry, you can have the next one...or ill take you out to dinner or something."

"yeah. yep, you're taking me out to dinner. I'll take you up on that offer." (very bitchy tone)

HOW BOUT THIS ERIKA, HERE'S A NICE LASAGNA RECIPE FOR YOU SO YOU CAN MAKE IT YOURSELF!!!!

....so we go to the game. it is clear that her and I are not getting along. its her and 2 other friends in one row in their own world and me and chris and his roommate in another row. erika decided in the middle of the game to go down to the next section to visit our old roommate, and just left, not saying anything to me or anything..not that i wanted to go , but just the concept ..that we ignore each other.

so then we went out to a bar after and took a cab home. the whole way home she was saying "chris i hate you so much. i hate you. I love my mom, my dad, and sammy (their dog).
leaving chris out.
and its good that he's not getting upset by this. he knows shes just a bitch and she'll realize what an idiot and how immature shes being. but me on the other hand, the closer we got home the more upset i got. what topped the cake was when she said
and you know chris, i dont even want to go out to dinner with you anyways. it would just be awkward anyways. i havent' liked you very much these past few months. you can pay for my cab instead."
and she gets out and slams the door.
bitch.
the rest of us pay the cab driver and i get out and of course start bawling. so upset. everyone has to calm me down. so much fucking drama and I want it to stop.

im done with her. i dont like to be around here when shes drinking especially. shes just a total bitch, bossy, and loudmouth annoying person. i hate it.

i went home for my dads bday the next day and haven't seen her since the cab. i dont ever want to go back to that apartment. its like living in hell.

Ticked

(this is what it looked like....except the guy in MY bed was much dirtier and more gross)

so last night was the Peppers concert my roomies went to. I came home from my night class and put the chicken on the Forman and popped the casserole in the oven. (and i have to say, i felt so domesticated! even after baking brownies earlier that day) Chris and I had a good meal, it turned out really really well. I was so impressed with myself! the first actual MeaL ive had in a long time.

I stayed at Chris' that night because erika said she would be back around 11 pm and would be dancing and singing and being loud all night because shes going to get trashed. some guys from her hometown and some girls came down too. I really had the feeling somebody would be sleeping in my bed, so I placed things in specific spots to see if they'd be disturbed.

i didn't even need to do that, when i came home at 730 this morning my door was closed. unusual. I opened it and...yep, theres a dirty smelly guy sleeping in my bed. guys were on the couch and the floor in the living room too. and let me tell you. they are DIRTY. they smell like actual dirt like they haven't showered in days. and ill bet they haven't. ive known these boys foro 3 years. they smell.

so i was completely disgusted. put my keys on my desk loudly and he woke up.

"oh, do you want to sleep in your bed?"

"no, actually i have work to do"

"oh...umm.....in....here?"

"umm....yeah!"

so he left.

gross i just washed the sheets too. im disgusted and pissed off.

and i just cleaned the whole place yesterday for my nice dinner and its totally trashed, sticky floor ( i saw a beer bong in the sink) cans everywhere, Oakland Gyros remains, smelling of filth.

I will NOT be cleaning that up. but erika will put it off for days. and i can't handle that. It better be cleaned when i get home tonight. otherwise...who knows what will happen. I'll lose it maybe.


ahh, so frustrating.

T minus...oh wait, it doesn't matter anymore

Status: ....eh. whatever.

The new swimsuit I bought recently keeps staring at me from the hanger. Should I return it?

Naa...I'll wear it this summer.

I'm planning on going on a shopping trip down to Chicago with my mom over break, maybe going skiing for a weekend with Chris also. I need to do something. Otherwise I'll just be envying Erika laying on a beach in the sun.

I'm glad I'm not going; I know it'd be a bad vacation. But there's always that one part of me that's a bit bummed. I really needed a vacation...

Red Hot Chile Peppers tomorrow night for the girls minus me. Too expensive. Although I'm super jealous. It's going to be awesome. But that means I have to apartment all to myself for the night. So I'm planning on making dinner for Chris and I. (I know, I would be scared too. I haven't cooked.....umm....ever? ok, maybe like 5 times.) Chicken and some green bean cassarole. Simple to make I'm sure, but for me, this is a challange. I hope I don't mess up. It'll be interesting.

Oh yeah, I just remembered why I was doing this post. Here's the deal:

This Friday Chris and I are going to an Admirals game with his mom and all her friends. She got a deal on tickets and is paying for us to go. (holla!) Twist: of course, she's going to invite her daughter- Erika. So Erika was looking for somebody to go with...cause she naturally didn't want to be around me and her brother all night long. Turns out she picks Trevor, Chris' roommate. I get along with him great, that won't be a problem. I'm just worried how it's going to be between Erika and I. Also, this is the first time I'll be seeing Chris and Erika's mom since we canceled the vacation.

I'm going to feel stupid and weird in front of her and think that she hates me for not getting along with her daughter but Chris keeps reassuring me that it's okay. She doesn't care. Everything is fine.

Which he's probably right. But I can't help how I feel. You would feel a little weird too, I'd assume. But I love his mom, it'll be easy to get over I think.

I hope we dont' drink and then start getting all emotional and start crying with her mom there. I'd die.

Cross your fingers this goes smoothly.

I sure am.

Status: recovering

So I've had a night to sleep on the situation and I'm feeling better. I know it's for the best. We would both be miserable on the trip and it wouldn't be any fun. Good news is I get my money back from the plane ticket because Anna is taking my place and will buy my ticket from me. I'll only be out about $30 from the $100 fee of switching names on the ticket that Erika, Anna, and me will be splitting.

Erika came to me last night and was trying to get at saying she thought it would be best if we didn't go to FL together. She was having a hard time trying to place the words but I knew what she was getting at. And earlier that day I had made up my mind that I wasn't going to go and I'd tell her last night also. So it was a pretty mutual thing.

We agreed we'd try to start fresh after vacation. Work on things then. But in truth, I don't know if anything will improve. We've gone over our situation millions of times and nothing has changed. We're just not as close as we were before. I don't know how it'll change for the better, unless we fake it really.

I'm relieved I'm not going anymore but also sad. I didn't want it to end up this way.

Status: Crash and burn

6:55 am today-I check my facebook. I got a lovely facebook message from Erika. It said she was worried about Florida and didn't want things to be awkward and uncomfortable between us. It looked like a novel, but basically that was the jist of it.

3:25 pm today-I check my voice messages. There's one from Erika. "hey lea, i was just wondering when you were gonna be home tonight cause....i think we need to talk about FL."

All day today I've had stomach aches, headaches, feeling like I'm going to vomit, weak in the knees. basically: upset and stressed out to the max. basically in tears walking to class at work. I've been miserable.

And I'd just like to vent more frustration on a different topic. Stupid customers. I work at the UPS store and a guy comes in 45 minutes before we close w/ a package over 20 lbs and 24 iches cubed going to England. It's like $300-400 to send it. There were only a few options he could choose. He throws a fit. stays there for 45 minutes- 15 minutes over closing time- bitching. I hate customers. So I was in a bad mood when I got home. Erika was home. confrontation time.

Bottom line: my plane ticket is being sold and I'm not going to FL anymore.

more to come...

Status: Ok, where is the ice berg?

So imagine you're the lookout person on the Titanic and you're seeing a giant ice berg ahead of you ("ice berg! right ahead!") You know you're going to hit it, there's no stopping, no time to turn around.

That's what it's like between us now. I'm anticipating something huge to happen very soon.

Last night I was sitting on the couch with my roommate, Erika , and our neighbor and old roomie, Jen. As you might recall, a couple weeks ago was Jen's 21st bday and I went out Tuesday on her bday but not Friday and I knew she'd be pissed I didn't go out. I didn't call that night to say I wasn't going out, which I knew I should have and would have been the right thing to do, but I knew she'd be drunk by the time I called and would be angry either way. But I should have called anyways.

As Jen was sipping on her wine and Erika and I were sober, Jen asks me if she can ask me something. I knew it was going to be about her bday. She asked why I didn't call her to tell her I wasn't coming out. I explained and apologized and she accepted and left it at that.

All the while, Erika gets uncomfortable, shifting in her seat and pretending not to listen. I was praying that she wouldn't start stuff with me too that night.

I'm sitting here now with her and asked if she wanted to go over to my sisters with me tonight. "no, i have to work."

of course. but I tried.

and we'll crash into that ice berg soon enough.

with my luck, right before we go on vacation.

I have such good luck.

T minus 33 days

Status: uneasy

So I've been toying around with the idea of saying, "hey, if you don't want me to go to Florida with you, that's okay. You can invite somebody else." But will it ever happen? Absoultely not!

Some days I'm excited to go and can't wait but then other days I just feel like not going at all. Who would want to go somewhere beautiful and fun with somebody they aren't getting along with?

Well, she doesn't compeltely hate me. Last night she asked if she could use my car to go to work this morning since hers got junked a couple months ago. Or maybe she's just using me/my car. That is very possible as well.

I went home last weekend on Thursday night. My cousins were planning on coming to stay the weekend with us and I wanted to be there to see them and also get my work done. Before I left Thursday I left a note telling Erika where I was because she was at night class still. It was our friend Anna's 21st on Saturday night and even though Erika didn't ask me to go back to Sheboygan to help celebrate I knew she would hold it against me if I didn't go. So when I left my note saying I'd be gone for the weekend I was a bit uneasy how it would be when I got back.

It turns out my cousins are coming up next weekend instead and Friday I woke up at 7:30 am to get my stuff done. I got a lot accomplished, although it took ALL day. So, to celebrate, I went out to a movie with Chris, seeing as how we rarely go on "dates" at all. It was nice (although we showed up over an hour early because somebody got the times mixed up and so we wandered from movie to movie until ours started....).
Chris was invited to go back to Sheboygan that Saturday also for a friend's birthday so all night he was getting phone calls from his friends saying inappropriate things and trying to make him feel bad. He didn't want to go mainly because his car window got smashed in (2nd time) and so there's plastic gargabe taped on it, then the hinge or something broke off the door when he slammed it shut after cleaning it, so now the door is being held on by a bungi cord. Yeah....not so safe to drive over an hour on the highway....

What is with people giving us shit about not doing things. Ultimately it is up to us on what we want to do and don't want to do. People have to deal. I'm so sick of it.

Status: Sinking!!!!

Oh boy, I think shit is gonna hit the fan soon. This past week I was extremely busy and always gone doing things or working on things for my Big Client Meeting next Thursday when my group and I meet the lady we're working for at the Adoption Resources of Wisconsin organization. Putting resumes, cover letters, conference reports together...everything is getting very very hectic and confusing.

So, as stated before, I was in and out of the apartment all week. Soccer game at midnight on Wednesday (by the way,we lost our first game of the season....so pissed). Then yesterday after work I got my stuff together to go home for the weekend to focus on my work and family is coming in also. Erika wasn't home, and neither was anybody across the hall, so I just left a message on the door saying I was going home. Predicament: it's another friend's 21st bday, Anna, who lives in Sheboygan. Big celebration going on Saturday night that I won't be there for. I knew I wouldn't be going, but I just never brought it up to anybody.

I know they're gonna be pissed.

Sometimes I get excited about going to FL but then other times I just want to sell my ticket and not go. I don't want things to be weird. And I know Erika's going to want to go out all 8 days we're there and stay up till 6 am partying. We did that last year and it was really fun, but now, I still want to go out and party, but maybe not every night cause
1)i'm going with her mom also and I dont want to be trashed in front of her

and 2) I'm going with here mom and I dont want to be trashed in front of her

and 3) I want to enjoy my vacation in the sun w/o a hangover in the morning.

and most importantly 4) I'm going with her mom and I dont want to be trashed in front of her

Erika wont like it.

T minus 39 days

Status: slipping....far, far away....

Back to square one. I knew I should have dragged myself out on Friday for Jen's birthday. Everything that'd been building up the past couple weeks into a semi-normal friendship again has fallen, and fallen hard.

Fridays I don't have class and I designate them as my "work" day. So, I was up at 8 am and did homework and studying straight until 6 pm (minus a couple hours to relieve my stress from working out at Klotsche). From there I got ready to go out to dinner with my boyfriend, Chris, and his roommates and their girlfriends at Olive Garden. (delicious, by the way. breadsticks and a salad is all you need and you'd be satisfied). Jen had asked me earlier that day if I was going out with her that night and I kinda shrugged my shoulders and implied "we'll see, I'm not sure yet." I told her about my plan to do work and dinner and then I'd see how I felt.

Well, 2 hours and a full stomach later, it was 10 pm and we were just getting home from dinner. I went back to Chris' place and was contemplating going out or not. I was tired from working all day and stuffed from the food. I just wanted a good night's rest- and plus, I had to work at 8 am the next day. I decided to stay in, although I was very nervous about it. I knew that it would be uncomfortable the next day around them, but that was a chance I was willing to take. I just needed some sleep!

After work I went to the grocery store, since I'd been living off of ramen noodles for the past week. I walked up the 4 flights of stairs to our apartment into a dark, dirty room. Mind you, it's about 3 pm only. Jen and Erika and our friend Terin are all laying on the couch watching The Sopranos. I say "hi".....and I get no response. So, I put my groceries away and sat down for a bit with them. I felt extremely uncomfortable; I wanted to say, "sorry I didn't make it out last night, I was just so tired," but I knew it wouldn't even make a difference. I got my computer out to do some research for a paper only to find that our internet was down. So, I got my things together to go to the EMS computer lab and on my way out I said, "well, I'm going to EMS to work on some stuff, I'll be back in a couple hours.".......chirp, chirp.----nothing. no response.

wow, way to give the cold shoulder.

So now things are.....well, they just are. I'm to the point where maybe I don't care anymore. If things fall apart they fall apart. So we're not close best friends anymore. Things happen. It doesn't mean I won't ever want to talk and hang out, we just won't be as close and she will have to accept that.

T minus 44 days

Status: ill be hurtin soon enough!

I think after today/tonight things will be a bit rocky for awhile. I've decided to stay in tonight and not go out to celebrate Jen's birthday- again. I feel too overwhelmed with schoolwork that needs to get done that I need time to get organized, get everything done, and just to pull myself together. I don't feel like it's that big of a deal because:

1) I went out on her real birthday on Tuesday and celebrated then

2) The people that we haven't seen in awhile were going to come down and celebrate with all but they aren't coming anymore, therefore tonight would be the same people as Tuesday night

and

3) I just really don't feel like it and would like to get a decent night's sleep before work tomorrow morning. I haven't slept in or gotten a full amount of sleep where I can function well in over a week...now, that might not be a log time to some of you, but my body is just not used to it...so when I don't sleep a lot I'm just completely zombied.

Now, the only hard part about my decision is telling them I'm not going out. I know how they'll act. "What? Why? Oh, come on, it's a Friday night, you don't need to do schoolwork." (this coming from 2 people who still have years to go in school because they slack off and don't take it seriously...like me, who because of my hard work am graduating a semester early...which will be after next fall, which means I have to get my shit together now and start being more "grown up" and focused, which I don't mind one bit.)

And when they finally realize I am really not going to go out, they'll shrug it off and then just talk about me behind my back about how lame I am and no fun. Not like I "used to be freshman year." Erika wants "the crazy lea from freshman year" back. And yes, I'll admit, I was a bit out of control at times....most of the time, way back when. I've settled down though. I like to go out and have a good time but I don't like taking shot after shot and puking in the morning and having such a bad hangover that I sleep all day instead of being productive. I like being productive. It makes me feel good about myself, like I'm moving ahead. and I am. So, I'm not the same person as I was freshman year, and I never will be again. People change all the time. I still love partying and being silly with them, just not to the extent that they go to. Too extreem for me. Call me lame, I don't care. I'm just looking out for myself.

I'm a people pleaser, what can I say? So it's only normal for me to be nervous and scared to tell them that I won't be doing what they want me to do. But it's time for me to stand up for myself. I'm in charge of me, not them.

we'll see how it goes!

T minus 45 days

Status: moderate Jen's 21st bday extravoganza

School has taken over my life. Along with my internship I got on Monday writing an article a week for Miwaukeehappyhour.com the schoolwork has been piling up. It's only the 2nd week of school...I don't think this is a good sign if I'm stressed out already. On top of that, I need to be sure to make sure Erika is getting enough "lea time." Gosh, I really hate the fact that I feel like this. Needing to please her all the time. I know I shouldn't care that much, but it's always on my mind. Tuesday was our old roommate and friend from across the hall's 21st birthday so of course I needed to celebrate with them. I really shouldn't have gone out. I had work get done. An interview to prepare for (that's today...yikes!) But, I felt obligated to. I felt like Erika and and Jen would think I was a bad friend for not going out....even though I am going on Friday to celebrate her birthday- again. So, I went out.

We had fun out on Water Street. By midnight I was ready to go home. I vowed not to stay out very late. Preparation for my interview and other homework was piling up fast and I needed to be in the right mindset to do it the next day--not just sleep my hangover away. So 1230 am was the latest I would stay out. I told my friends I was leaving, minus Jen because, lets face it- she wouldn't remmber if i was there or not anyways. And also minus Erika because she was nowhere to be found, lost somewhere inbetween the slew of drunken people. I was kind of glad I couldn't find her to tell her because i was afraid she would yell at me and get mad. Why am I such a wimp?....Anyways, Chris picked me up and I got a nice, decent night of sleep, I suppose you could say.
The next day however, I could tell by the way she was acting- not as friendly and talkative--that she wasn't happy about my choice to leave. Things were looking up too. We even were daydreaming about going shopping for the Keys and what we would wear. Now I have to start over again. It's like baby steps. I take one step forward and two steps back.

T minus 49 days

Status: friendship rising.

But is it really? Or will things fall apart at the last second. Is she just faking acting like she's happy? Sometimes I don't know. Last weekend her and I had the most intense and real conversation/argument. After a girls night out and some alcoholic beverages consumed, emotions were running high and the night ended with tears and hurt feelings, once again. She argued that I wasn't making any attempts at trying to hang out with her. The only times I've tried is "asking me to go to the klotsche center to work out and 'you know I dont like working out. why would I want to go?' " I looked at it as at least an attempt. An effort. And the only other times I ask her to do something is with her Chris and "I don't want to hang out with you and my brother." In my eyes, I think those 2 attempts as a good effort, especially when it's hard to do something on the weekend with her when she doesn't want to go out to bars because she has to work at 5 am every day. And I have made plenty of other efforts at hanging out. She is just too self absorbed to notice.
So I've been making even more of an effort. I stayed in Friday and watched movies with her. I went bowling one night with her and others. I'm sitting here right now with her across the room watching tv. I feel like I have to divide up my time between her and Chris. It's really not very fun. When I'm out with Chris I am always thinking, "did I spend enough time with Erika today that I can be out doing this?" And that's not how I should feel. It's my life, I can do what I want. I feel like I'm trapped in the middle of this situation and whatever I do it won't be good enough for her.
But, things have been good the past few days. She's been friendly towards me. Whether it's real is hard to say. Only time will tell. Or the next time she drinks and is truthful.