Status: friendship rising.
But is it really? Or will things fall apart at the last second. Is she just faking acting like she's happy? Sometimes I don't know. Last weekend her and I had the most intense and real conversation/argument. After a girls night out and some alcoholic beverages consumed, emotions were running high and the night ended with tears and hurt feelings, once again. She argued that I wasn't making any attempts at trying to hang out with her. The only times I've tried is "asking me to go to the klotsche center to work out and 'you know I dont like working out. why would I want to go?' " I looked at it as at least an attempt. An effort. And the only other times I ask her to do something is with her Chris and "I don't want to hang out with you and my brother." In my eyes, I think those 2 attempts as a good effort, especially when it's hard to do something on the weekend with her when she doesn't want to go out to bars because she has to work at 5 am every day. And I have made plenty of other efforts at hanging out. She is just too self absorbed to notice.
So I've been making even more of an effort. I stayed in Friday and watched movies with her. I went bowling one night with her and others. I'm sitting here right now with her across the room watching tv. I feel like I have to divide up my time between her and Chris. It's really not very fun. When I'm out with Chris I am always thinking, "did I spend enough time with Erika today that I can be out doing this?" And that's not how I should feel. It's my life, I can do what I want. I feel like I'm trapped in the middle of this situation and whatever I do it won't be good enough for her.
But, things have been good the past few days. She's been friendly towards me. Whether it's real is hard to say. Only time will tell. Or the next time she drinks and is truthful.
